Lamar Odom: Public Relations Genius?

Hello loyal readers. I apologize for my absence in the last week or so. I feel foolish for having things like career and friends get in the way of quality time with the dumb things I truly adore. Lucky for me and anyone else who cares enough to read this blog, inspiration came quickly in the form of a PowerBar commercial starring none other than long time LA Lakers' headcase and newly minted reality star, Lamar Odom.

This got me thinking, 2 years ago, would the Los Angeles' third best player been on a national advertising campaign for an established brand? Would I have seen this commercial while watching network TV in New York City? The answer to both of these questions is invariably no.

So, what changed in the last 2 years? The first and most obvious thing; The Lakers won the championship. And Kobe certainly benefited, as the alpha dog on all championship teams is known to do. But one championship run in basketball doesn't create marketable players overnight. If that were so, I would want to buy some eurotrash suits and Spanish lessons from Pau Gasol, like immediately. The second thing, also obvious, is that Mr. Odom has recently taken a Mrs. Odom, none other than the fat Kardashian sister. (Seriously, I saw her ad for PETA and it reminded me of those wooden cutouts of cartoon ripped bodies that you would pose behind and then have some formerly homeless, currently toothless guy on the boardwalk charge you five dollars for a picture. You're not fooling anybody broadie).

So if it wasn't thing one that launched Mr. Odom's new found fame and marketability, it was most definitely thing two. And just going off the fact that the commercial I just saw exists, I would say this marriage has accomplished its goal.

What Odom has actually accomplished is absolutely brilliant. Before he married the ugly stepsister, he was unappreciated, even in NBA circles. When he won a title and his life remained the same, I'm guessing he realized that he had gone as far as his talent would take him and decided to do something drastic. So, like an actress who's got the looks but not the talent, it was time to shed his dignity (Note to Greg Oden: Notice I didn't say shed clothing. And while we're at it, can we add letters to NSFW designations so I would know whether I not I want to click? NSFWLT (lesbian threesome): Yes. NSFWSEP (semi-erect penis): Not so much.) And so, in exchange for his self respect and any semblance of the sanctity of marriage, Lamar Odom is now the most likable person on an extremely popular reality show. On his basketball team, he'll always be behind at least Kobe in terms of attention and respect. On Keeping Up with the Kardashians, his only competition are 3 completely shallow sisters and their mother, a seemingly demented former Olympic champion who now begs his wife for money to buy model airplane parts, and a transparent womanizer who managed to impregnate one of the more attractive sisters. Is it possible to screw this gig up?

But, what sticks with me the most, is how we've reacted to such an obvious sham marriage. When Michael Jackson (RIP thriller) married and publicly sucked face with Lisa Marie Presley everyone mocked him mercilessly. Now, we're presented with two people getting married on a reality television show and told in advance that the wedding isn't legally binding and we don't blink an eye. Granted, nowadays we have more important things to which we need to pay attention (Naked pictures of Snooki, I'm looking in your direction. And now I'm not looking at anything. Because I've permanently seared my retinas.), but we've really learned to look the other way on the fake marriage stuff. And Lamar played our apathy perfectly. He figured that when the root of a show's popularity was a sex tape, people wouldn't mind too much if he staged a fake marriage for our entertainment. Seriously, Tiger should hire Lamar to produce his apology press conference tomorrow. There's a man who knows how to get exactly what he wants from America. (Even if that thing is an endorsement deal for a product that is suspiciously reminiscent of two nuts in a sack: http://www.insideoutsports.com/productimages/Powerbar%20Gel%20Blasts.jpg).